Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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