Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
