Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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