it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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