i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
