You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
