weddingsv make me drug and hornr
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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