CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
