it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
