she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
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Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
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If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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