Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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