I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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