Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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