Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
