I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
