i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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