I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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