only you would photoshop your dick
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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