He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
