actually, I'm a sock model
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
