i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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