He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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