What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
