You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
