You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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