Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
