Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
