Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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