yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
