No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
