butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
