so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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