we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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