Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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