So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
