So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize