I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
