Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Dicks are not precious.
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