I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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