note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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