Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
