You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
