Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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