do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize