i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize