He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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