So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
