Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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