Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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