My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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