Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
