I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
