Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
