Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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