id be glad to
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
how does that bad decision feel?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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