Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
