i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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