I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Hippo gnu deer
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
