Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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