if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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