and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
NoShamevember. You game?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
