Welp...herpes.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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